Chapter 14 - The Visit
Noah chose to see Vivian seven months after her release.
Supervised.
Public.
With Dr. Patel, his therapist.
Ethan remained nearby but not at the table.
Lily refused to come.
Then changed her mind at the last minute.
“I’m not talking to her.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I’m watching Noah.”
“He has a therapist.”
“I’m still going.”
Ethan understood.
They sat across the café.
Vivian arrived early.
She looked thinner.
Older.
No expensive coat.
No calculated entrance.
Noah approached.
Vivian started to stand.
He said:
“Don’t hug me.”
She immediately sat again.
“Okay.”
Lily noticed.
One boundary.
Respected.
Noah sat.
Vivian’s hands trembled.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“I’m glad you came.”
“I almost didn’t.”
“That would have been okay.”
Noah frowned.
“Would it?”
“Yes.”
Vivian’s eyes filled.
“But I would have been sad.”
That honesty seemed to satisfy him.
He asked the question Lily had expected.
“Why did you hurt Lily?”
Vivian answered:
“Because she was getting close to finding out what I had done.”
“Why not just tell?”
“Because I was afraid.”
“You were already caught by Mom.”
“Yes.”
“She was going to help you.”
Vivian closed her eyes.
“Yes.”
“You’re dumb.”
Dr. Patel gently said Noah’s name.
Vivian shook her head.
“He’s not wrong.”
Noah looked at her.
“Did you love Mom?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hate her?”
“Sometimes.”
That startled everyone.
Vivian continued.
“I loved her and envied her. Sometimes I resented her.”
“Mom thought you were her friend.”
“I was.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“No.”
Vivian looked at her hands.
“I used to think complicated feelings excused complicated behavior.”
Noah asked:
“Do you love Dad?”
Vivian looked toward Ethan across the café.
“Yes.”
“Still?”
“Yes.”
Ethan looked away.
Noah absorbed that.
“Does he love you?”
Vivian did not answer for him.
“I don’t know.”
Ethan appreciated that.
Then Noah asked:
“Do you love me?”
Vivian cried.
“Yes.”
“Then why did you try to send Lily away?”
“Because I was selfish.”
“That’s not about me.”
“No.”
Noah nodded.
The answer was not satisfying.
Perhaps truth often wasn’t.
After twenty minutes Noah said he was done.
Vivian accepted it.
Then she saw Lily.
Their eyes met.
Vivian did not approach.
Lily had told Ethan she would not speak.
She intended to keep that boundary.
Then Vivian turned to leave.
Lily said:
“Wait.”
Everyone froze.
Lily stepped forward.
Vivian remained where she was.
“Did Mom know you were in debt before she found the transfers?”
“No.”
“You never asked her for money?”
“No.”
“Why?”
Vivian gave a sad smile.
“Pride.”
“She would have helped you.”
“I know.”
“Then this whole thing happened because you were embarrassed?”
“Not only.”
“What else?”
“I wanted to look like I was doing as well as she was.”
Lily almost laughed.
“You stole from a charity so Mom would think you were successful?”
“When you say it plainly, yes.”
“Good.”
Vivian flinched.
“Keep saying it plainly.”
Lily’s voice trembled.
“No debt story. No grief story. No ‘I loved her.’ You took money. Mom found out. She gave you a chance. She died. You hid the proof.”
“Yes.”
“You married Dad.”
“Yes.”
“You planted Mom’s necklace on me.”
“Yes.”
Lily’s eyes filled.
“And you called me a thief.”
Vivian’s face crumpled.
“Yes.”
Lily stood there breathing hard.
Then she said:
“I don’t forgive you.”
“I know.”
“I don’t want letters.”
“Okay.”
“I don’t want birthday cards.”
“Okay.”
“And if Noah sees you, that doesn’t mean I will.”
“I understand.”
Lily looked directly at her.
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
Lily waited.
Vivian added:
“Your brother’s relationship with me does not belong to you. Yours does not belong to him.”
That was exactly right.
Lily hated hearing it from Vivian.
Still.
She nodded.
Then walked away.
Outside, Ethan asked:
“You okay?”
“No.”
“Do you regret talking?”
Lily thought.
“No.”
May you like
That was enough.
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